All week I thought about my blog. Well, I thought ‘What the heck am I even gunna write about this week??’ It was getting dire, I was almost through Thursday (and my goal is to post something every Friday) and still had no clue.. Then the universe provided me with the answer! It came via notification on my phone (quite the ominous notification to be honest as I use the silencing blank from Bloodborne. If anyone wants to hear it check out this short clip: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mbgv8UdLL04). The notification was from the app Natural Cycles informing me that my period should be starting in 2 days. My Period! Such a good idea! Honestly, these things are super important and not talked about anywhere near enough.

There are a few reasons I think we should talk about periods more. First, they are super important for helping women understand their own health. Second, it is incredibly empowering for women to understand their bodies and cycles. Third, a woman’s cycle should not be some shameful topic hidden in the back corner and never discussed.

Our bodies are run on and regulated by a intricate system of hormones and when these hormones become imbalanced we become less healthy. Our world is full substances that disrupt our hormones, and not just our sex hormones but our happy hormones, hunger hormones and metabolism hormones to name a few. Women tend to be more sensitive to these substances as we have a more intricate and involved hormonal system going on, this is what causes our periods and allows us to become pregnant and grow babies. Everything from processed foods, to plastic containers we store our foods in, to chemicals put on our foods as they are growing, to chemicals off gassing from the press board furniture we fill our houses with, to the chemicals we apply to our hair and face on a regular basis can affect our delicate hormonal balance. When these hormone systems get disrupted our bodies don’t function as they should and we move away from wellness. The further from wellness we get, the less fertile we become. Basically our bodies look at what is going on in and around them and determine whether or not we can sustain life. If we can just barely sustain our own life they are not going to allow us to start growing new life inside us. On the extreme ends of poor health the body will actually just stop having a period removing any chance of becoming pregnant. But as we deviate away from good health and wellbeing it can become more and more difficult to become pregnant even if we are still having periods. We can also develop more irregularity in our cycles and more severe PMS symptoms.

It is mind blowing to me that half the population is told that they are designed to feel like crap for 3 to 5 days every month simply because they are women and there is nothing that can be done about it. How would we survive as a species before we had houses and indoor heating and stores that supplied food for us if half of us had to curl up in the fetal position with a heating pad on our backs for 5 days out of every 28?? We are not meant to feel like garbage just because we are women. Periods should come and go with very little disruption to our daily life. There will be some symptoms, yes, our bodies are going through physical changes, but it should not affect our day and we should not suffer. Severe PMS symptoms are a sign of poor health. As I became more healthy my period became incredibly regular, my flow became lighter and my days on my period shortened. My cycle is 26 days with 2 days of bleeding. Where I once had nearly debilitating cramps which caused me to vomit on occasion and lasted for days now I have mild discomfort that lasts 2-4 hours when my period actually starts. I know when I have strayed too far from a keto/paleo diet, not been eating clean and not been looking after myself if I start getting cramps and longer periods. I take this sign from my body and clean my eating and life style, moving back to an unprocessed, low carb, whole foods diet.

So increased fertility means better health, but what if a woman doesn’t want babies? What if she just doesn’t want babies right now? Poor health and infertility may have its draws if that is the case. I know, as a woman who does not want children, I personally felt this way regarding infertility before I completely understood what it meant for my health. But there is another option. We can talk about periods, we can talk about a woman’s cycle, we can teach women how their bodies work and put them in control of their ability to get pregnant or not.

When I was at the worst of my health and desperately researching my way out of it, I quit taking any birth control because many of my hormonal systems were a mess. I needed to do a clean up and a reset. In my youth I had been told by a friend that her mom tracked her cycle and as a result only ever got pregnant when she wanted to. I knew I needed off the birth control as it was making me unwell, so this was the route I needed to go to keep from getting pregnant. I tried to Google means of natural birth control, how to track my cycle and how to use this information to keep from getting pregnant. It was a difficult world to get information from. There are tons of fertility apps out there, different ways to track your cycle in order to optimize how to get pregnant and as these seemed to be the only readily accessible means of information I directed my questions to these types of organizations. I wanted to be sure I understood the process well so I asked things like ‘how can I use this app to keep from getting pregnant’ and ‘so, if I know when I am ovulating, when I am fertile, I can reverse that information and use it as a means of birth control’. I was not given an answer and instead was I was informed that these organizations were legally bound and unable to offer any information to me if I was inquiring about not becoming pregnant.

Isn’t that messed up? It is like saying we can only support women in understanding their bodies if they want to have babies because that is what women are for and should want. I felt I was basically being told my options were artificial birth control with all its side effects or a sex life filled with the fear of becoming pregnant. I had to approach these organizations as a woman looking to have babies in order to get any answers and then put the pieces together myself to keep from getting pregnant. In the time it took me to figure all this out I had 3 abortions which could have been avoided if information about women’s bodies was more accessible to women. Since I have figured it out and learned to listen to my body I have not had any issues and I feel I have complete power over my choices. I don’t have to choose between side effects or risking pregnancy, I can choose good health and a satisfying sex life that isn’t frequented by fear.

Lastly, there is a lot of social stigma about a woman’s cycle that I think just needs to stop. Literally half the population is female bodied, and most of those people will have at least one period in their lives, most will have many, one occurring on a fairly regular basis. We all use the bathroom every day, a natural process although not exactly a topic for pleasant conversation, and people talk about that. We excuse ourselves to the bathroom, we don’t just make funny faces, stand up and disappear for a few minutes and return to a group of people who pretend to ignore a natural body function occurred, or shame another for mentioning the need to be excused. Periods are just another natural bodily function yet discussion on the topic is frowned upon, why? Because it only happens to half the population? We should be able to discuss this topic, especially among other women, but also among men. I have agreements with my partners that we will not become pregnant and I hold my partners 50% accountable to maintaining a baby free status in our lives. They cannot do that if we do not discuss certain things like periods and ovulation. I am not saying we have to get all hippy dippy and talk about how beautiful periods are because they allow life to be created or that we should discuss all the details with anyone around simply because we feel like it, but we should not shy away from frank discussion, we should not have to hide our periods, feel ashamed or unsure about bringing it up if it is relevant. If I have plans with someone, but my period started on that day and I am feeling less energetic I should be able to say so. I should not have to lie about what is going on in my life simply because a woman’s period is something we should not talk about, because there is a shame implied with having a period.

Periods are important, they are important for reproduction, but also to determine where we are on our journey to good health. They should be discussed any time a woman’s health is being discussed. They should also be discussed if you are a woman who has sex with men. It is an important topic to be transparent about for family planning. It breaks down walls of shame felt for just being a woman when we discuss our periods. It breaks down walls of toxic masculinity when we discuss our periods with men in our lives, when we involve them in the family planning process. It adds a transparency and connection when we can talk to the men in our lives about our periods and builds our confidence that we can be loved and beautiful even when we bleed. Conversations about our periods will bring the topic out of the shadows and normalize a completely natural body function that should not cause shame or be shamed.

Note: I mentioned the app Natural Cycles. This is an amazing app, as stated on their website they are the ‘The first digital method of birth control available in both the US and Europe’. I have found it to be the most user friendly tracking app (and I have used about 4 others), it can be used as both birth control and fertility app, it can even be downloaded and logged into by partners for complete transparency. The story behind the app is very empowering for woman also. The woman who designed the app is a great role model working for a great cause. I don’t make any money for recommending this app, I just want to share the value I have found. More info can be found at https://www.naturalcycles.com