My pup Tobias is the most precious thing to me right now.  He is so happy and sweet.  He loves everyone and everyone loves him.  He is such a wiggle butt and wags his tail so hard he smacks himself in the face regularly.  He fills my days with so much joy.

He is a beautiful looking dog, he gets compliments all the time.  Brindle with white markings and all kinds of pitty brawn.  During his first few growth spurts his legs grew so long and I wondered if he would get some of the long and graceful lankiness of the great dane in his mother.  That has not been the case with the last few growth spurts though.  He is a beefcake.  When he runs it is such a wonderful sight.  He has such an awkward, lopsided, stiff and stocky gait.  He is always so happy when running though, so carefree and enthusiastic, ears sticking straight up in the wind.  Adorable but completely lacking any great dane gracefulness.  I cannot help but laugh.

Every night we each get a sponge bath/wipe down.  I wash myself up first and he always sits beside me, waiting patiently with anticipation for his turn and often licking my legs.  I feel like he understands it’s bath time, that we are getting clean and he is helping.  He loves when it is his turn and lets me roll him around, wiping all the dirt off him.  At night I have to lift the duvet so he can crawl under and sleep curled up behind my knees.

As he grows there are constantly new bits of sweetness he brings to my life.  Since he was a baby he has always done a little squat while peeing.  Now, at 8 months old, some instinct has kicked in and he has decided to try to lift his leg to pee.  This most often results in him squatting then trying to lift one leg and just lifting and tapping his toes on the ground repeatedly while peeing.  If he gets ambitious and lifts his leg without squatting he almost always falls over a bit.  Watching him teach himself to lift a leg while peeing is so endearing.

Caring for Tobias takes a lot of my energy each day.  I need to take him for walks, meet his physical needs, clean up after him, meet his needs for attention and love.  I look after him and he also looks after me in a simple way.  If we drive too much he lets me know it’s time for a walk, If I am on my phone or other screens too much he lets me know it is time for touch and interaction.  If I am not present enough in our cuddling he pushes everything else aside (at 70 pounds and growing he is still my little lap dog) expressing his need for me to be more present and reminding me to practice mindfulness in my interactions.  He fills my cup and makes it easier for me to enjoy and love meeting his needs.

He is a very happy and social pup.  So much so that I am not actually social enough to satisfy him.  We have decided that we will get him a puppy, a little brother or sister, this spring.  I have done some reading on what breeds would be best but have not made any decisions yet. He honestly loves all other dogs and people so much I don’t think it really would matter.  

I have been thinking about how I will probably lose some of the one on one sweetness I get from him.  The way he jumps in the driver’s seat to wait for me when I leave the truck and won’t get off the seat till we sit together and cuddle for a bit after I return, reconnecting and reaffirming I still love him.  Or the sweet snuggles I get first thing in the morning when he wakes and seems to realise how much he missed me in sleep.  Little things like this might disappear and I’ll grieve the loss of those moments but hold their memory dear.  But there will be so much to gain.  There will be so much more happiness in his life, I will get to watch it and know he is more satisfied.  And there will be new interactions I can’t even conceive of right now to find love and joy in.

And I think this is true of all life.  Things are always changing and we have to accept that, but I think it is important to recognise that with change there will always be happiness and sadness that come as a result.  We will always have to be prepared to grieve the loss of some things while we embrace the new and exciting.